1. Babysitting Exchanges
We're not in a position to pay for a babysitter right now, especially not as frequently as we want to go on dates. So we have worked out with other student couples to go on exchanges. There are probably countless ways to do this. The first year we were here, we had only one child, as did two of our friends. At that point, we did a three-way exchange, so that we got to go out two times for every one time we babysat. As all of our families have grown, we dropped down to exchanging with just one other family. (This means less dates, but more sanity.) Sometimes we do it in the evenings before kids go to bed, which still feels like a nice time watching kids together. A lot of the time now, though, we split up for babysitting after kids are in bed since bedtimes have tended to get earlier. I suspect at most universities you could find other families who would love to make this situation work.
2. Complex Opportunities
One of my very favorite dates was when we dropped our kids off at the home of our friends (who live in our complex) and then my husband blindfolded me and drove me around to disorient me . . . and we found ourselves back at the complex's tennis courts. We don't play tennis there very often, but it's right beside our apartment and we already have the equipment, so it was awesome.
Our complex also has a pool, which could make for a nice date in the summer time. We're not usually here in the summer, so we haven't tried it, but I think it could be awesome for those who have the chance.
3. University Opportunities
I know some people despise spending social time at school with their spouse, but we have gone on some lovely dates up to the law school. The law library has a small student room in the basement where we have played ping-pong and pool. Upstairs in the law school there's a nice chess set where we played chess one day. It's more important to me to get out of the house for a date than it is to keep away from the school!
The university also sends out an email with notices about university-sponsored events. Early in the year the university sponsors the Virginia Symphony in an outdoor concert. It is well-attended and lovely. We went out first year as a family (before we'd arranged our babysitting exchange), but those sorts of events make awesome date opportunities too.
4. A Little Of This and a Little of That
Tonight we're headed out on a date to a sweet local restaurant with a great atmosphere to get pie and then take a walk. We are also happy to go to Chick-Fil-A and get an awesome cookies-and-cream milkshake to share. We've found a treat isn't too expensive and we can enjoy it together (without kids begging to mooch) while having a great conversation without any significant expense.
When we were at the end of the month and trying to stick to our budget in the winter, we made do taking a walk at the tiny little mall. We browsed a bit, but mostly we talked and enjoyed being in the warmth holding hands inside together. Actually, it turned out to be one of my husband's favorite dates and he would have been pretty happy to do it for every date that winter. (It was perfect, too, when we were trying to keep our dates fairly short because we had a nursing newborn.)
Obviously there are countless ideas depending on what's available to you in your area and what your interests are. It would be awesome to hear other successful dates, in fact. Our experience has been that you don't have to have a lot of money to enjoy getting out of the house together and have a great time.
I do love babysitting exchanges. Although, when you have four kids you have to choose wisely who you get to babysit. You have to consider how many kids they have as well. I always feel like it isn't an even trade when I have others watch my kids because we have four and they have fewer. I feel it is too overwhelming sometimes if they have four(or more) and our four is added to that too. It is a struggle sometimes and sometimes it works. So most of the time, we just don't go out. We will watch a movie together after the kids are "supposed" to be in bed. But it is nice to get OUT of the house once in a while.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you definitely need to consider how many kids you'll be watching. One thing we do sometimes is do the date after the kids go to bed. So, for example, the Wilkersons put their kids to bed, then I go over and do homework at their house, Keegan stays at our house with our sleeping kids, and they get a date with no kids. Depending on what time the kids go to bed, maybe that's a way to get a date out of the house without having to watch eight kids (and really without watching any kids, since they're all asleep).
ReplyDeleteWe have also had success babysitting after the kids are asleep. It means we don't leave until around 8:00, but it's better than not leaving.
ReplyDelete