Keeping a "Someday" List

One of the many great bits of marital advice my parents gave was to avoid the tendency to feel as a young couple that you should have all the stuff your parents have (not that my parents had a ton when they told me this, but certainly more than we did/do). Parents in their 50’s have taken many years to acquire the possessions they have, but it’s tempting for young couples to think that something must be wrong if they don’t also have nice cars, a large home, and classy furniture.

My parents suggested keeping a list of things we wanted to have someday. The list might include items like nice silverware, a larger home, a trip to Europe, or even much smaller purchases. What my mom said was something like, “your dad was smart enough to realize that when I talked about wanting to buy something nice, if he simply told me ‘we can’t afford that,’ he would sound insensitive and I would become frustrated. Instead he would say, ‘I’d love to have that too. We probably can’t get it now, but lets write it down and plan on getting it when we can afford it.’ I was still disappointed but felt like he understood me and we were working together towards a goal.” In some cases they would buy it at some point in the future. Other times, they would decide over time that it wasn’t that important and it would drop down or off the list.

It's important to understand that the point of the list isn't to be greedy and materialistic, but rather to talk about and systematically work towards some of the things you'd like to have.

So there are several benefits to the “someday” list. First, it can be cathartic. Writing something on the list helps assuage the frustration of not being able to buy it immediately. Second, it can be a very good tool for avoiding impulse purchases. If you are tempted to make a significant purchase of something that is not on the list, it’s worth asking why it’s not on the list. Maybe it should be added to the list, but if it’s not something you’ve really wanted until that very moment, maybe it’s not all that important (and you’ll realize that within a few hours, removed from the emotion of the moment). Third, if something is on the list, it allows you to be aware of when there is a good sale on that particular item and you can save a lot of money. Finally, keeping a list is a systematic way to acquire some of the things you want. Without keeping a list, you’re more likely to spend money on lots of little things that aren’t that important. If you’ve written it down, you’re more likely to sacrifice the little things and save for something important to you.