Keeping a "Someday" List

One of the many great bits of marital advice my parents gave was to avoid the tendency to feel as a young couple that you should have all the stuff your parents have (not that my parents had a ton when they told me this, but certainly more than we did/do). Parents in their 50’s have taken many years to acquire the possessions they have, but it’s tempting for young couples to think that something must be wrong if they don’t also have nice cars, a large home, and classy furniture.

My parents suggested keeping a list of things we wanted to have someday. The list might include items like nice silverware, a larger home, a trip to Europe, or even much smaller purchases. What my mom said was something like, “your dad was smart enough to realize that when I talked about wanting to buy something nice, if he simply told me ‘we can’t afford that,’ he would sound insensitive and I would become frustrated. Instead he would say, ‘I’d love to have that too. We probably can’t get it now, but lets write it down and plan on getting it when we can afford it.’ I was still disappointed but felt like he understood me and we were working together towards a goal.” In some cases they would buy it at some point in the future. Other times, they would decide over time that it wasn’t that important and it would drop down or off the list.

It's important to understand that the point of the list isn't to be greedy and materialistic, but rather to talk about and systematically work towards some of the things you'd like to have.

So there are several benefits to the “someday” list. First, it can be cathartic. Writing something on the list helps assuage the frustration of not being able to buy it immediately. Second, it can be a very good tool for avoiding impulse purchases. If you are tempted to make a significant purchase of something that is not on the list, it’s worth asking why it’s not on the list. Maybe it should be added to the list, but if it’s not something you’ve really wanted until that very moment, maybe it’s not all that important (and you’ll realize that within a few hours, removed from the emotion of the moment). Third, if something is on the list, it allows you to be aware of when there is a good sale on that particular item and you can save a lot of money. Finally, keeping a list is a systematic way to acquire some of the things you want. Without keeping a list, you’re more likely to spend money on lots of little things that aren’t that important. If you’ve written it down, you’re more likely to sacrifice the little things and save for something important to you.

After Christmas Sales

Speaking for myself and probably Patrick, we took a hiatus for several weeks to focus on exams, papers, and projects. It’s nice now to have a bit more time. Most importantly, may everyone have a wonderful Christmas—one that is focused on the Savior and on serving others. I also want to thank my fellow authors on The Provident PhD and all of you who have added comments and given good feedback. We hope you will continue to participate!

Without getting sucked into the commercialization of Christmas, it’s worth thinking about how to take advantage of a situation where so many people do get sucked in. By Monday, many retailers will be dramatically discounting items they had hoped to sell for Christmas. The trick, as always, is to be careful not to buy things that you weren’t planning on buying and don’t need. This is a theme I’ll return to often, but you don’t SAVE anything by buying something on sale that you weren’t going to buy were it not on sale. On the other hand, if you realized that you need some gloves, mittens, hats, etc. this is the perfect time to get them. I remember when my dad was the scout master, he would use after-Christmas sales to stock up on winter gear that was marked down 70% or more. If you’re feeling really ambitious, you could even start doing a bit of Christmas shopping for next year :). 

Shopping Lists

I guess I'm into "tricks," as my last suggestion was a paper budget, which I consider a sort of a budgeting trick. This time, the trick I have in mind is a pre-made grocery list. What I mean by this is that I have a document saved that has a list of groceries we frequently buy. This is also a time-saving tool (and sanity-saving since I often go shopping with my two boys). In order for it to be the most helpful, I have the grocery list organized by aisle at the grocery store we shop at. By this I mean that the dairy products are under "Dairy," the cereal and granola bars are listed under "Cereal," etc. I print out this document and put it up in our kitchen. Then, when my husband or I think of something we need or I plan my menu for the week, I highlight the items we need. If it's not on the list, I do it the old-fashioned way and write it where I would find it.

When Patrick talked about shopping around for apartments, he mentioned how recurring expenses can really add up if you're not careful. One way we've found this to be true is if we don't plan ahead so that we have to make several trips to the grocery story in a week. The more trips out to the grocery store, the more likely that we end up spending money on unplanned items, and anyway it's a waste of gas. Any sort of a grocery list can help with this, but my pre-made shopping list has been a great help at our house to help us to be organized, to be fast, and to save money.

One other way it helps with saving money is that for awhile, I found myself wandering back and forth to get things (because it would be farther down on my list so I'd have to double-back when I saw it) so that grocery shopping was taking forever! Since it was already taking so long and I was so stressed--because by an hour into it, my kids were DONE-- I stopped doing a very good job of price comparisons. Now that I'm more organized, it's easier for me to take the time to buy the cheapest item. This trick has been a great help to me and I foresee it being a normal part of our lives for the rest of our family life.